Aging Flawlessly

As the youngest of my older brothers turns 40 today, it makes me think about the new age demographic I will be joining in a few years. My younger guy friend asked me how I felt about turning 40. I told him that it didn’t bother me since I hear that’s when women are in their prime. I also said that by 40 I hope that I will be financially fabulous (not having money woes because all of my bills are paid, I am debt free, have a hefty, healthy and diverse investment portfolio and my family is all financially free as well) and doing what I love as a career.

To tell the truth, my 30′s have been pretty hellish. If anything they are teaching me how to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and acceptance. I’m still a pupil at Life’s Let it Flow Academy, but I’m at least a sophomore.  One of the things I’ve come to terms with is that I can’t turn back the clock, and that I don’t want to. I have a finite amount of time on this Earth in this body. The way I skid into the casket at the end will be an indication of the life I lived. I’ve already aged myself from years of obesity, but I am working on reversing those effects.

I know stress is a silent killer which ages you prematurely. I’m doing what I can to flow like water. Stuff happens. My goal is to take that stuff and learn from it without letting it steal my power. The episode with the lice was a killer, but once I turned the corner I promised myself that I would take what I learned and make a difference in someone else’s life. I truly believe that I had to live through it to be able to be in contribution to others.

That’s what I’m learning about life. If I am blessed enough to wake up, there will be a series of obstacles that will challenge me and a series of things that will delight me. Neither is good nor bad, it just is – and the important thing is what I make of each moment. Letting go of trying to control every obstacle in my life allows me to go with the flow, listen, learn and embrace life.

Aging flawlessly means not wasting time worrying about each new gray hair, dark spot, added pound or wrinkle. I look upon them as wisdom badges. Each one tells me a little bit more about who I am, how I’m flowing in life and what adjustments I can make to be the healthiest in mind, body and spirit. I am supposed to get older and eventually die. That’s just the way it works. I won’t fight against it, I will flow with it…going as flawlessly as possible.

Blasting Away the Blues!

I called one of my friends a while back, when I was having a case of  the blues, to ask him how you get out of a funk. His short and sweet response (thanks Stephen) was, “Get out of the funk.” Now, he wasn’t being a smart behind. He was actually sharing sage wisdom. He was reminding me what I already knew. I had to be the one to change my mood. I was the only one responsible for my happiness.

I am often prescribing myself an attitude adjustment. I work hard to stay positive and accept responsibility for my situation in life, but it’s a skill that takes daily practice. Last night and into this morning, my skills were being thoroughly tested. I could tell because I was short on patience, had no interest in completing any tasks and I had a general sense of unease. My blues don’t last long. I’ve gotten pretty adept at allowing myself to wallow for a short period of time, shaking myself and getting it moving again.

As an entrepreneur in media production, you need to have a high tolerance for risk. As a single parent, you need to be willing to put someone else’s needs first and have an endless supply of energy and enthusiasm. Most days I manage, but it does catch up with me from time to time. Especially when I feel like things are not manifesting as quickly as I would like. I feel restless, like a caged tiger.

This is when I do the stuff that does not help me reach my goals. Some people would call it acting out.  In my house it looks like mindless snacking, internet surfing or giving into a long and unproductive pity party. When I’m taking care of myself emotionally, I’ll call a friend and share what’s going on or listen to a mediation podcast (one of my favorite sites is http://www.mythoughtcoach.com). Normally, I find those coping tactics helpful in managing my blues.

This morning when I woke up with the blues that lingered on from last night, I knew it was time for another attitude adjustment. Once I got my daughter off to school, I sat down with a stack of notes and began writing my first solo script. I’d been caught up in the cycle of fear and excuses. I had a great story about why I needed to find a writer to tell the story that was in my head. I had been unwilling to put it down and risk it being bad.

Getting the characters, dialogue and situations onto paper seemed to act like a balm on my frayed psyche. Will it be an Oscar-winning screenplay? Who knows, and for these purposes, who cares? By taking action, I am one step closer to my achieving one of my goals. Once I’d written 16 pages I headed out for my first jog/walk since Sunday’s 5k race. My body had no desire to cooperate. I managed to jog almost 14 minutes before I stopped. My legs and knee hurt so I walked the rest of the way home.

Getting moving wasn’t about being perfect or looking great. I didn’t even realize that my actions would help alleviate the blues (I might have done them sooner if I’d known), it was a nice side effect of getting my butt moving. It’s so easy to say, I want this or that. The challenge is breaking through the fear and resistance that often paralyze us in a lifestyle, one that might not be the one we desire.

Today I took a step closer to the lifestyle I envision…and it blasted my blues away. Next time you get a bout of the blues,try doing something in support of your hopes and dreams.

It might just do the trick.