Won’t Waste My Time on Envy

Sometimes I wish we could pick and choose the emotions we get to experience. Ah, but that wouldn’t be life, would it? Joy, love, passion, happiness, peacefulness, serenity, confidence. Those are some of the emotions I’d choose. Envy is one I’d leave behind. I don’t think it’s an emotion that surfaces often, but when it does it shocks me.

I was checking my Facebook page and noticed that a friend posted pictures from an African safari vacation. This was a person I had worked with at my previous corporate hustle. As I looked through his pictures I had such a sense of envy. For a few moments I let it flow through me. In those moments I wanted to trade the financial hardships of a single mom, divorcee, entrepreneur, starving artist for the luxury calling to me from those pictures.

Thankfully I limited my envy to a few choice moments and then I gave myself a mental shake. Earlier in the day I shared with a few colleagues that I planned on being financially fabulous! I went on to explain that being financially fabulous means that I will never have to wonder where my revenue is coming from, I live debt free and I will share my wealth with my family, friends and community. I even shared a story with them about how I would use my yacht as a timeshare for my family and friends.

I’m in the phase of my career where you end up paying your dues and sacrificing. There is no rule book and nothing to say that it will take me 15 years to get there. What I know to be true is that I need to position myself and my company in front of content buyers who get and want what I am selling. Some days it feels easier said than done, but in reality it’s all a state of mind. So I won’t waste my time on being envious of someone else’s dream. I will celebrate and be grateful that he got to take his dream vacation, and then I will turn my attention to continuing to manifest the life of my dreams.

*Thanks to my mom for the updated edit. I’m glad to have you in my corner to point out my typos so I can be the best that I can be. I wonder if there are any typos here. hee. Mom – I left the “will” in instead of using “could/would” because I know it’s going to happen and I will!

Things Fall Apart

I can’t recall much about the book, Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, other than I read it in High School and the title often comes to me when things start going south. Yesterday I was wondering why I seem to repeat the cycle of things falling apart in my life. I don’t mean the stuff we can’t control. I mean the stuff that I let slip through the cracks because my focus is elsewhere.

The funny thing is that this happens on the personal side, not so much on the business side. Why? Because the business is often my highest priority. As a start-up, I find it’s harder to get the resources you need to get the job done. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe when I have all the resources at my fingertips it will still be hard, or maybe even harder than it is now.

One of the most challenging things about being a single mom and entrepreneur is all the stuff that has to get done. I realize that once I am out of organizational control I can forget about managing all the little pieces. It’s not worth kicking myself. The deed is already done. The best I can hope for is that in another few months I am NOT pondering how I let something slip through the cracks.

I used to laugh at my mom’s rigid nature when it came to housework. She couldn’t go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink, or without putting out the trash at night. She also still gets all of her clothes ready for the week on Sunday – she picks out her outfits, irons them and lays them out neatly so they are ready to go each morning. It seemed funny at the time, but I bet her stuff doesn’t fall through the cracks.

I get that the key is to manage my “stuff” regardless of the fires that are flaring up personally and professionally. It’s a skill I would be wise to develop. When I get to that point I will acquisition the title of Zen Master of Stuff! Trouble is, I’ve got another 60 years or so before I qualify to have any title including the words “Zen Master ” so I’d better get cracking.