Aging Flawlessly

As the youngest of my older brothers turns 40 today, it makes me think about the new age demographic I will be joining in a few years. My younger guy friend asked me how I felt about turning 40. I told him that it didn’t bother me since I hear that’s when women are in their prime. I also said that by 40 I hope that I will be financially fabulous (not having money woes because all of my bills are paid, I am debt free, have a hefty, healthy and diverse investment portfolio and my family is all financially free as well) and doing what I love as a career.

To tell the truth, my 30′s have been pretty hellish. If anything they are teaching me how to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and acceptance. I’m still a pupil at Life’s Let it Flow Academy, but I’m at least a sophomore.  One of the things I’ve come to terms with is that I can’t turn back the clock, and that I don’t want to. I have a finite amount of time on this Earth in this body. The way I skid into the casket at the end will be an indication of the life I lived. I’ve already aged myself from years of obesity, but I am working on reversing those effects.

I know stress is a silent killer which ages you prematurely. I’m doing what I can to flow like water. Stuff happens. My goal is to take that stuff and learn from it without letting it steal my power. The episode with the lice was a killer, but once I turned the corner I promised myself that I would take what I learned and make a difference in someone else’s life. I truly believe that I had to live through it to be able to be in contribution to others.

That’s what I’m learning about life. If I am blessed enough to wake up, there will be a series of obstacles that will challenge me and a series of things that will delight me. Neither is good nor bad, it just is – and the important thing is what I make of each moment. Letting go of trying to control every obstacle in my life allows me to go with the flow, listen, learn and embrace life.

Aging flawlessly means not wasting time worrying about each new gray hair, dark spot, added pound or wrinkle. I look upon them as wisdom badges. Each one tells me a little bit more about who I am, how I’m flowing in life and what adjustments I can make to be the healthiest in mind, body and spirit. I am supposed to get older and eventually die. That’s just the way it works. I won’t fight against it, I will flow with it…going as flawlessly as possible.

Live Like You Were Dying

I’d wage that most people reading this post had heard Tim McGraw’s song, “Live Like You Were Dying.”  If not, I would definitely recommend checking it out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiOcW_YR1G8. The mere mention of the Tim McGraw song brings another man to mind, Randy Pausch. If you don’t know his story, then you are truly missing out. Randy’s Last Lecture is now a book and a worldwide phenomenon. Randy gave his last lecture on, “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams” knowing that he was dying of pancreatic cancer. He died less than a year later, but his impact has been profound and his legacy lives on. http://www.thelastlecture.com/

I’m the morbid one of my friends. I’ll be the one to ask you, “What happens if  you get his by a bus tomorrow?” It doesn’t mean I am more prepared for that unlikely occurrence, it just means that I ponder it from time to time. As I matured into adulthood and specifically motherhood I realized that the concept of control was just an illusion.  Events like 9/11, the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake and Tsunami and the 2010 earthquake in Haiti made it crystal clear that I am but a spec of dust on this planet.

I was pregnant with my daughter when the Tsunami hit and she was only a few months old while I watched in horror the events surrounding Hurricane Katrina. As an emergency responder I felt helpless, as a new mother I was horrified and shook to my soul. The images are tattooed  on my psyche. I can’t imagine the pain, sorrow and suffering of the people caught up in these events…especially those who were parents.

I’ll never know why I’m here and some other mother and daughter are gone. All I know is that everyday I get a chance to wake up and live like I’m dying. I don’t think there has been a day that I have, and for that I’m ashamed. I complain too much, I waste my days and nights on petty and meaningless stuff. There is plenty that I do that is good, just and loving…but knowing what I know, is it enough?

I hope I have many more chances to passionately embrace life, without the catalyst of a terminal diagnosis.

I hope you do too.